Despite the social shame attached to modern-day singleness, we’re not sitting around waiting for somebody’s son to take us to a luxurious five-star restaurant or on a stroll through the infectious downtown district riddled with fellow lovers and locals. Instead, we’re redefining what it truly means to embrace the sexiness of solitude. These solo dates will help you broaden your perspective and enjoy self-discovery.
In an age where princess treatment is often linked to romantic partners and the pedestal they deem our value worth putting us on, it’s easy to fall into a vicious cycle of desperation and discouragement when we realize “if he wanted to, he would” didn’t apply to Tony from Tinder or Mark from Match. As a result, we find ourselves in a sunken place of loneliness, begging for hearts that weren’t made to love us, performing for the male gaze, and entertaining attention with no intention.
We then become victims of the conditioned belief that wider waistlines come with a limit on the men who will cherish us past the stigmatized idea that our largeness promises home-cooked meals, better sex, and a higher tolerance for one’s bullcrap. However, the true peace is in choosing yourself instead of waiting to be picked. Although it can be challenging, especially for us longing to be led into the arms of a “real one” who sees beauty beyond a bigger scale, it’s important to remember that there’s a sense of fulfillment on the other side of the fear of being alone.
Regardless of your size, enjoying your own company as a woman can not only be therapeutic but also eye-opening for the current season in your life.
Here’s a short list of creative ways to (re)connect with your inner you and give her the wining and dining she deserves.
5 Ideas for Best Summertime Solo Dates Ever
1. Plan a SLAYcation
A slight twist on a staycation won’t hurt anyone! Book the fanciest hotel you can find in your city for the weekend. Ensure that it has a bar, restaurant, and maybe even a pool that you can frequent while you’re there. Pack your best attire. Each day that you’re lodging, dress up, curl your hair, and beat your face.
The first day, you may want to get cute and have a drink. The second day, the menu of the fine eatery inside the hotel may be calling your name. By nightfall, you could want some relaxation time in the pool (or jacuzzi) before checking out the next morning (don’t forget that bathing suit, sis).
Whatever you do, you’re looking darn good while doing it, and feeling just as beautiful, too. Yes, all while not leaving the premises! Granted, you may run up a few tabs, but at least… you’re having fun.
2. Go Picnicking
Although this may seem quite cliché to some, never underestimate the advantages of a nice picnic. With the growing percentage of entrepreneurship and the COVID-19 pandemic introducing a new do-it-at-home method for just about anything, it’s easy to become spoiled on not having to leave the comfort of your own house. Because of this, many of us (unknowingly) slip into a sedentary lifestyle, which is the number-one cause for depression.
We’re not holding any hands when we say this: go out, touch grass, and get some vitamin D in your life, Queen! Hitting up a park or going by the water for a few hours can be soothing to the soul. Gather your favorite snacks (or even a meal), a blanket, a couple of pillows, and let’s get going! These are activities to consider while you’re relishing in nature:
Painting or adult coloring
Delving into that new book you’ve yet to open
Watching a movie or bingeing a show on your tablet (hello, hotspot!)
Crocheting (if that’s your thing)
Journaling your deepest thoughts
3. Museum Hop
If you’re a sucker for learning things, taking yourself on a citywide museum tour would be Heaven on earth. Whether that’s a civil rights exhibit or an art gallery, spending the day in history’s greatest archives can be mentally and physically stimulating. Plan ahead. Research all of the displays in your town and the surrounding areas.
Be sure to create a small itinerary with your desired stops, entry prices, and open hours. Even carve out time for you to grab a bite to eat. Turn it into a full excursion! Take pictures (if possible) and later get them printed out to store in a scrapbook. There’s nothing like making memories, especially when you’re flying solo.
Keeping a collection of these moments also allows you to recall how much you truly enjoy getting to know YOU and the things that bring you the most joy.
4. Do a Dare
We all like to live life on the edge… sometimes. Remember that bucket list you made nearly a decade ago? It’s time to scratch off one of those items. Whether it’s horseback riding or visiting a drive-thru safari, make it happen!
As plus size women, we’ve all been guilty of psyching ourselves out of turning our wildest dreams into a reality. We’ve let naysayers trick us into believing that we’re too big to go after all that this trip around the sun has to offer, and that’s false. Your weight does not put a period where each day that you’re breathing has put a semicolon.
While physical restraints can be dispiriting, it’s vital to hold on to the fact that there are multiple ways for us to take up space and revel in life’s greatest entertainment and challenges. Not an outdoorsy person due to the heat? Invest in a portable fan. Big-breasted and deal with back pain while standing? Store a chair in your trunk. Your new adventure awaits!
5. Take a Pottery Class
Romance movies have taught us that pottery classes are for couples. WRONG! If you’re a crafty cutie, finding a pottery session near you would be right up your alley. Not only is it fun, but it’s also calming–specifically for those who may suffer from anxiety.
Plus, you may like it so much that it becomes a monthly routine. Picking up more hobbies is always an amazing outlet for not letting feelings of rejection or despondency consume you.
According to Healthline, a 2023 study from Nature.com “found that the negative effects of being alone were either greatly reduced or completely nullified when the individual was spending time alone intentionally. Participants who spent more time alone reported decreased feelings of stress and pressure.
Self-dating has proven to be empowering and enlightening for all. Don’t let not being asked out stop you from your destiny!
Which of these solo dates will you try out? Let us know in the comments below!
This article, #SingleFatFemale: 5 Solo Dates You Should Take Yourself on This Summer first appeared on The Curvy Fashionista and is written by Ashley Blackwell.
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